Thaaaaat’s right, Cedar Point’s world-famous coaster is celebrating it’s 20th birthday! Here’s some trivia for you, Bits and Bramblers—when the Magnum XL 200 opened in 1989, it was the world’s tallest and fastest roller coaster. And even though there are taller and faster coasters in the park now, it’s still pretty awesome…in fact, there were 1,789,387 riders in 2008 alone!
And I’ll be honest with you, Bits and Bramblers. I was not one of the 1,789,387 riders. I kind of like smaller coasters. Now, if I’m at Cedar Point? I’m all about the Gemini, and even the Blue Streak. Which means I’m a liiiiitle bit of a roller coaster wimp. So…when everyone else is all “Let’s ride the Top Thrill Dragster!” I have a wicked plan. (Because…no. What if I decide to ride it, and this happens? No. Nonononono.) If you find yourself in a similar situation, I will share with my wicked plan with fellow roller coaster wimps right now. Let’s say that you love coasters, and the two of us are at Cedar Point.
You: Let’s ride the Top Thrill Dragster!
Me: Okay! But I’m thirsty. Let’s get a soda first! I’ll even buy you one!
(Then I will buy the both of us giant sodas in collectible cups the size of a small bucket.)
You: Let’s go!
Me: Er…we just bought sodas, and they were kind of expensive, what with the collectible cups and all. (Sadly) Look, you go ride the coaster. I’ll stand here and hold the sodas.
You: Seriously? I can wait.
Me: The line’s isn’t that long, so now would be a good time. Just go. I’ll hold your collectible soda bucket.
You: But I feel bad…
Me: You can make it up to me by riding the Gemini when you’re done.
You: Come on, isn’t that—
Me: I’m going to stand here, holding the soda that I bought you. Now we’re riding the Gemini, and the Iron Dragon.
So…yeah, I will make you feel guilty just get out of riding the scary roller coaster. But I’m not a totally horrible person. I did buy you a soda with a collectible cup, after all (oooh, and don’t forget, this works with stuff other than sodas, like t-shirts, etc.)
Here’s something to keep in mind, though, fellow coaster-non-enthusiasts: what happens if you see through the wicked plan? And they say something like “We can drink sodas in line?” or “I’ll wait, I’d feel guilty if you didn’t get to ride?” Well, in that case, don’t be afraid to say, “I don’t like giant super-fast roller coasters and I’m not riding that thing!” you could always make a deal, too. Like…maybe ride a sort-of scary coaster, instead of a really scary one (you know…the one where you can see another country from the top of the hill. Doesn’t anyone but me think that’s freaky?!)
Here’s the cool thing, though, and if doesn’t matter if you loooooove roller coasters or hate them—watching on-coaster videos is pretty cool. So now, you don’t even have to use the wicked plan to experience the Magnum XL 200 . We can do it without even standing in line!
So fasten your safety belt—or drink some soda—and enjoy!