So…at a concert in Michigan last week, Bruce Springsteen looked out at the crowd and said, Hello Ohio!”

For some reason, they didn’t like it. The Boss quickly apologized.

The internet was buzzing about it for a couple days, and some of the comments caught my eye. The first person said that if they were in Michigan, they’d deny it, too. Which upset someone else, who said it was stupid to “base the whole thing on a football game.”

Now, first of all…the joke was pretty funny. But more importantly, the whole Michigan VS. Ohio thing? It’s waaaaaay older than football–and I mean “early 19th century” older. See, it all started with the Toledo War. Here’s a completely neutral summary: things were sketchy about who owned the strip of land around Toledo. The U.S. Senate sided with Ohio, but Michigan—who wasn’t even a state yet—just kept whining about it.

Although, it didn’t do them much good, because we all know how the fight ended, right? (Because it’s not Toledo, Michigan, is it?!) But that’s why the two teams are now one of the greatest rivalries in college sports. Because before the first snap of the first game, there was already bad blood between the two. It’s one of those things, Bits and Bramblers. Hardly anyone around here likes both teams, or doesn’t have an opinion. You must choose a side. And hopefully, it’s the right one.

Now, if for some strange reason, you haven’t picked a side, I thought I’d sort of…compare the two schools. In a completely unbiased way, obviously (although, I clearly have a favorite. See, not only am I a fan? I’m an honest-to-goodness alumni of one of the two!) Let’s start with…

  • SCHOOL COLORS: Ohio State’s school colors are scarlet and gray. It’s a great combination, isn’t it? Everyone looks good in red—I’m sure you look great in red. Michigan, on the other hand has blue and corn. Okay, so technically they call it “maize,” but we all know that’s just another word for corn. And that Michigan is apparently too snobby to call it “gold” like everybody else.
  • FOOTBALL COACHES: Ohio State has Jim Tressel, who is a class act, and likes sweater vests. That goes a long way in your book, right? Oh, and he also has “218 career wins; nine national title game appearances; five Big Ten titles; eight bowl appearances; and national championships in 1991, 1993, 1994, 1997 and 2002.” The other guy, Rich Rodriguez, is only in his second season at Michigan, but during his time as the head coach of the West Virginia Mountineers, he had a “60-26 record.” He also has a funny hair cut.
  • SCHOOL MASCOTS: Ohio State’s mascot is the buckeye. Buckeyes have a very distinctive look, and grow on pretty trees. They’re also a delightful chocolate peanut-butter dessert. At OSU’s games, Brutus Buckeye is a lot of fun to watch. Michigan’s mascot is the wolverine. Wolverines are “highly territorial,” and have “the ability of defending its food from wolf packs, cougars, and grizzly bears.” There are no cute desserts named after them, and they could attack you at any moment.

Hopefully, you’ve made up your mind by now—you’re either rooting for the Buckeyes, or the…people that like blood thirsty wild animals and corn. If not, you’ve got until exactly 12:00 tomorrow, when the Buckeyes will face the Wolverines in Ann Arbor! I guess it really doesn’t matter who you’re cheering for, Bits and Bramblers…just have fun watching! BUT GO BUCKS!!!!

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